Sound of Madness, or the One Where Sibling Bonding Gets a Little Out Of Hand
Recommended listening: "Sound of Madness", Shinedown (don't read too far into this one) This particular day in this particular part of town was quiet. Three half-elves, in various states of boredom, bided their time with varying degrees of success. Around midday, the bell on the front door rang, and an aging dwarven man waddled in, seeking a replacement for a wand that had been misplaced (read: stolen) a few days ago. He had no coin on him, which ordinarily would have been a problem for any normal shop. However, Elmswood wasn’t a normal shop. ' ' The Drinre siblings had a rule: traditional payment methods were preferred, but to keep their inventory interesting, they would occasionally allow patrons to barter. It resulted in some likely illegal, though very intriguing acquisitions, and since the police hadn’t knocked at their door yet, they saw no reason to end this system. The dwarven man didn’t have much to offer, until he pulled out a small and dusty volume from an inner pocket. The red leather cover had certainly seen better days, but the book itself seemed pretty sturdy, despite looking as old as the dwarf who carried it. “This is a volume of riddles I picked up when I was a youngin’, much like yourself,” the man wheezed, and Damian knew instantly that he needed this book, good deal be damned. “Seems like a fair trade to me!” Damian smiled an incredibly genuine, and incredibly chaotic, smile, shook the man’s hand, and waved as the dwarf waddled back out of the store. As soon as he flipped through the book, he realized just how wonderful this week was going to be. - “I can hold you prisoner, or set you free. I can swing with ease, though not from a tree. I have many shapes and many sizes, yet until we shake hands I hide my surprises. What am I?” The gnome woman looked up at him, her brows knit with confusion. Cass rounded the corner and let out a heavy sigh when she realized what was happening. “Dee, for the love of - can you just give this woman her incense so she can go on her way?” The woman’s eyes lit up as she snapped her fingers. “No, no, wait! I think I have it! It’s a door, right?” “You got it! I’ll throw in a little extra incense for that quick thinking,” Damian winked at the woman before handing her a bundle wrapped in old newspaper and waving her in her way. She left, smiling. “Damian, you know how much I love you, but if you keep reading riddles to every customer that comes through the door, I’m going to take that book and hit you over the head with it,” Cass said, returning to her task of taking inventory. “You could, my dear sister, but first you’d have to find the real one!” With a flourish of his hand, the red book appeared to multiply, until there were copies spilling over the counter. Damian was too busy enjoying Cassandra’s look of fear to notice an ethereal purple hand appear behind him and sift through the volumes, pulling out the real culprit and causing the others to disappear. “It’s this one, right?” A voice said from behind, before the only sound in the shop was a dull thud and stifled laughter. “Ow! Eve, you know what Father said about smacking your siblings with books!” “I don’t, care to remind me?” “He said, and I quote, ‘don’t!’” “Hmm, must have slipped my mind,” Evelynn plucked the book from the mage hand and thumbed through it. “As much as it pains me to say it, I agree with Cass. The riddles in here are ridiculous, and you had to be punished for subjecting us to them.” “You guys just can’t appreciate art when you see it!” Damian replies as he snatched the book back from his twin. “Is that what you call it? I’ve heard more sensible prose from the rambling urchins that wander past the store.” “And who’s to say we’re not both artists?” Eve sighed, admiring the lengths to which her brother was defending this book. “Fine. But can you at least read the intelligent ones?” Damian took a seat on the counter, opened the book to a random page, and began to read: “You have seven pens, and nine pigs. You must arrange the pens so that each pen has an even number of pigs. Zero is not allowed, nor will it work. How do you do this?” Both sisters glared at him as they tried to decipher the riddle, before looking to each other with unreadable expressions. “You’re gonna love the answer to this one,” he said, a fiendish smile making its way across his lips. “There can’t be an answer,” Eve muttered, “unless you’re allowed to kill the pigs...” Cass flinched at that. “You cannot kill the pigs!” “They’re theoretical pigs! And the riddle doesn’t say I can’t!” “Let’s say for argument’s sake,” he said quickly, attempting to diffuse the tension before it could blow up, “you can’t kill the pigs. The answer is way more straightforward than you think.” “Apparently it’s not, if the brainiac can’t think it out and instead resorts to violence,” Cass said sharply. Eve wasn’t sure whether to laugh or scoff. “You make me sound so tactless, sister.” “Guys! Come on! You’re thinking way too hard about this!” “What is it then?” He suppressed a laugh, and took a deep breath. “You stack them.” If looks could kill, Damian Drinre Athan would have died then and there. Cass turned on her heels and said absolutely nothing. The sound of a door slamming closed indicated that she’d left through the back door. Eve took the book from his hands again, and stared at the page as Damian dissolved into a fit of laughter. “I am going to burn this book if it’s the last thing I do,” she whispered. “No, wait! Let me find another one!” he managed, between giggles. “No! You’ve lost your riddle privileges!!” “What are you, the riddle police?” “You made me do this, this is for our own family’s good!” Eve was smiling now, watching her brother reach feebly for the book as his laughter filled the shop. Was the riddle stupid? Absolutely. Did she hate her brother passionately, in this moment? Definitely. Did it mean the world to her to see him laughing like this, even if it was at the expense of her sanity? She wouldn’t trade it for anything else. “Alright, alright. I’ll let you off with a warning this time. But, I’m begging you, please read a sensible one every once and a while?” She handed the volume back to him with a flourish of authority. The bell over the front door rang as Cass stepped in, arms crossed. “Is it over? Is it safe to come back in?” she asked, still standing by the door. “Only if you’re prepared to have your brain turned to mush with the power of critical thinking!” Damian announced triumphantly. Cass sighed, realizing she couldn’t leave the store as it was her duty to protect incoming patron from the riddle fiend that had taken the place of her brother. She took her place behind one of the counters, and tried to ignore him, and failed within a minute. Eve watched them from the other side with fondness. They weren’t perfect, far from it. They were eccentric, stubborn, mischievous; they were three parts of a whole.